I don't have any cravings besides for sleeping. Depression? I hope that is not the case. I don't even enjoy doing the things I used to enjoy like taking pictures. I've become so negative that when I think of photographing I automatically predict that the picture wont look good so why bother taking it. I also don't find so nice to write a lot about myself or my insane thoughts here. I just feel that I need to get my mind empty, remove words out of it (as if it is possible). I've decided to do some changes in my life and the first one will be reducing the amount of sugar I eat, it doesnt really have much to do with my mental problems , but it sounds like a challenging mature thing to do. I ate chocolate cake today, tasted good. Then I had a latte with two tea spoons of sugar , tomorrow I will make it one. Now I should go to sleep because going to bed earlier is another challenge, well its 02:14am but still, I am in the dark and after being in the dark for a while I start seeing things, I fear, fear of things that are not even here, but when my cat stares at those things I feel a bit scared...what a baby.

46 comments:

  1. I absolutely love your blog and understand your feelings .. especially the part where your cat stares at something you don't see - the things my bunny seems to see scare the hell out of me sometimes. Hope you feel better soon.

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  2. Sorry to hear your still in a funk :(
    But these photos are just lovely. Also, I know what you mean about feeling negative and seeing/hearing things in the dark. It's a terrible thing, how strong the mind has a hold on us, but I just try to brush it off with some writing or reading.

    xx

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  3. I feel kind of like that now. I don't feel like doing anything.. But I think it will be better when spring, summer and warm weather comes back. I hope. It's always better sooner or later! Hope You'll feel better soon! :)

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  4. wow you look amazing :) keep posting!

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  5. maybe you're a little depressed but hey, it's spring and as soon as you can even notice it's summer there and you can't be unhappy when it's all warm and sunny and people are smiling etc.
    (or is it just me?)

    anyway, the photos you take are awesome,
    the way you look is awesome,
    the thoughts you share are awesome,
    don't stop believing yourself.

    -one stupid redhead who wants to tell you you're s p e c i a l

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  6. I love your photographs and I hope you keep taking them :) x

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  7. Hope you start feeling better soon :( x

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  8. I adore the photos you take! They're perfection, always beautiful!! You certainly have a talent :) xxx

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  9. You look stunning on the first picture! I hope you'll get your motivation and inspiration back. Hugs.

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  10. Your blog is lovely. and you are beautiful!!!!

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  11. Even in a wonky mood, you still turn out beautiful pictures. I think you're incredibly talented, and yours is one of those blogs that never disappoints. I also have been feeling a little weird lately; not depressed, but not happy. I've been diving in to books to try to at least feed off of someone else's emotions, even if they are a made up person. I hope you start to feel better soon!

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  12. you are really pretty and i find your blog very inspirational. i made a post about your blog on mine; http://maria-misguidedghost.blogspot.com/2011/12/inspiration-public-diary.html

    :-)

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  13. I am feeling the same way for months now and dont know how to start making things better. Im so sad all the time i dont even stand myself

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  14. As if I was writing this post. :) I also have trouble giving up before I even started, because I think it will not turn out the way I wanted. I also have decided to reduce sugar (New Year's resolutions), now I drink tea without sugar, and coffee with only one spoon of sugar. :)I send you good vibes to continue with your creative work. Only recently I discovered your blog and believe me it is a great motivation for me to continue with my blog when I see such beautiful pictures. Sorry if my English is bad.I just wanted to give you support. Bye

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  15. I've been feeling the exact same way recently, so i can empathise and i hope you start feeling better soon!

    That being said these pictures are stunning and your hair is divine!

    http://tracksforlife.blogspot.com

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  16. you are adorable, and love your photographs. they are all amazing as you are. (and i could speak portuguese with you, since you're brazilian haha) xx

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  17. your very beautiful:) love your blog and always will x

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  18. im sorry you feel so out of whack! i have been too lately, must be something in the air? ha. if your looking to try something different with food and not eating so much sugar & stuff you might want to look into the clean food challenge for something interesting to do

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  19. i understand the feelings you describe. i struggle with a lot of the same. some days i am even afraid to get out of bed and go to school. you should try taking pictures of little things. like small stones gathered up in a pile, or moss in the forest. it helps, sometimes.

    good luck with the 'sugar-project'!

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  20. I know the feeling. But keep on taking photos! they're amazing :-)

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  21. i feel like this too about my artwork. i feel very unmotivated and uninspired at the moment, maybe its because i prefer the summer haha.
    i think i like sleeping because when you're asleep all your problems and worries and stresses temporarily go away.

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  22. Aw. I think the pictures are pretty. And you know we like your pictures.

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  23. aw I hope it gets better soon! Please keep in mind, I think you're amazing: you're so pretty and talented. X

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  24. have faith, I feel so much with you because I have felt like you so many times, but somehow happier times always wait around the corner. Just wanted to let you know I am one of your faithful readers and I love your pictures, they are so full of...hmm stories, I don't know how to say it, but they have depth in some way...and I like to read your words too :) well, that's what I wanted to say, so keep strong and believe in yourself;)

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  25. ha, i also see things which are not even there, in the dark
    visit my both blogs

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  26. I have cravings for sleeping too, but I am depressed so that's probably not what you wanted to hear

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  27. I just want to say I am obsessed with your blog. I check it everyday your photos are beautiful. Hang in there.

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  28. You're my favorite blogger.
    I enjoy reading what you have to say and
    I can relate to most it.
    Your pictures are beautiful.
    That's one of the reasons of why I also love your blog.
    You're an honest person.

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  29. what a pretty first picture!

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  30. I felt quite the same like yours before. I feel all negative and I have that emptiness inside, something I can't explain (it was similar to depression but I'm not so sure). I think you're just going through a rough phase. I hope you'll be alright, Stefany. :)

    Louise. xx
    theyounglouise.blogspot.com

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  31. Today I was walking in the street on my way to buy some bus tickets and I had the same thought, about getting my mind empty, lately is so full of things I can't even go to sleep beacuse I won't stop thinking. I hope this mini trip helps. And I hope your challenges help to.
    Nice Day
    Pao

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  32. I hope you inspiration returns soon

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  33. I love your blog

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  34. I love you photos and your writings. you're my inspiration stefany

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  35. Such beautiful pictures, you look wonderful.

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  36. I feel the same way I so wish I could tell you something to make you feel a bit better but I am just like you at the moment haha.

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  37. I really recommend you to watch something from David Icke, it really helped me when i was low.
    Everything will be fine ;)

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  38. beautiful photos! I love your blog!
    please check out mine and if you like follow each other?
    x

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  39. Your hair looks so nice in the first two pictures. I really like dark hair on you, it suits you stunningly. All my love to you, sweet Stefany! :*

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  40. I have that same down feeling, of not wanting to go out, or do many things. And about the whole photographing thing too! I used to LOVE going out on a trip with my camera, to take a thousand pictures and then spend hours processing them, but now? I just think, why bother, I can't go anywhere cool, I'll just photograph the same shit.
    So uninspired right now.

    Hopefully, in summer our muses will be back?
    I'm sure yours will!

    x!

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  41. This reminded me of Anna Karina in Vivre sa Vie. Beautiful.

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  42. beautiful<3, there is nothing more to say

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  43. You are so beautiful...love goin through your blog, you are an inspiration....

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  44. Since summer started, I've been feeling the same way. I've hardly left my room, let alone my bed. Hopefully these lulls will fade.

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