the public diary

You know what, well let me tell you up front that I will be pretty negative in this post and that is because I feel like writing what I feel at the moment. I feel really tired, I feel tired of saying the word 'tired'. I don't know, I get this bad feeling about days, and life. Sometimes I don't even know how to explain it properly. I get tired of this blog, and of myself and people and I don't know what to do. I don't longer know what I really like, or how I want my life to be. And the worst thing, I get annoyed by positive people that generally says 'oh, stop complaining life is great, you gotta go for what you want and be happy'. Oh screw that, if I sound dramatic or depressing I don't longer care, at least not today not at this very second. I might walk into the kitchen to eat a toast and all of the sudden I will feel inspired and bloody happy. Of course this is very unlikely to happen. But who knows! I'm just tired of feeling tired and not physically. But in the other hand I'm okay emotionally. So I don't know what the heck is wrong with me. I wish I was normal. I wish I wouldn't think too much about life.. and I wish I would care a little less or perhaps I should care a little more. Sometimes I wish I could change my name, move out of the city and dye my hair black with bangs, and act totally different.I might do it someday or maybe not. In the mean time I'll be myself.

23 comments:

Lost in FranceNovember 29, 2011 at 4:05 PM
no-one is normal :)
and the normal people arent worth bothering with!
UnknownNovember 29, 2011 at 4:35 PM
Interesting. Do you think being yourself is compulsory? In times like this, Benny & Joon helps me... Just a thought.

>'.'<
Lina B.November 29, 2011 at 8:13 PM
....and thats ok!
MisislauNovember 30, 2011 at 12:22 AM
We all feel that way at some point.
CharlotNovember 30, 2011 at 12:22 AM
It's just a feeling that's taking over you. Same problem overhere. I got it very often. Maybe it's just the weather. Me, I can not wait untill I feel this burning sun on my skin while I'm walking through the South of France again. Think about the summer, it's something that inspires me everytime. Perhaps it will work for you. Good luck
AleksandraNovember 30, 2011 at 2:11 AM
Put down the negative feelings and thoughts on a few pages of paper. When you feel like you have gotten it all out, go outside and burn the pages. I cannot guarantee this will work, but it's a step on the path.
AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 4:42 AM
If you weren't different, life would be boring
AnnaNovember 30, 2011 at 5:26 AM
I don't know but you sound bored and I think that's not fair because you have so many opportunities that much people don't have. You need a kick under your ass. I don't know if that's a correct sentence but in Dutch it is, it means that you have to do something with your life. To do nothing and wait for something to happen won't work, believe me. Make yourself useful, go to people you like. That's what I do if I have a day like yours. Talk with them, they will have other views. Ok now I sound like Oprah and I don't want to.
Glocco!November 30, 2011 at 6:58 AM
believe it or not,i had ever felt like that.i was so fed up.everything seemed so wrong and boring.i really wanted to move out to someplace quiet like a beach where i could chilling out myself. but after reflected myself, i thought that i have been wasting much time to 'just complain and do nothing'.now im trying to keep focus to my dreams.i have to make it happen.cause when my dream comes true,i will find the real me who has succeeded.sorry if my english is not really clear for you :) good luck for you.i hope you will find your happiness soon.Cheer up :) *im just sharing :)*
neeNovember 30, 2011 at 8:10 AM
I totally know what you mean, I have had the exact same feeling for weeks..
You must know though, I think you're a great person with wonderful style and talent!
AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 8:23 AM
Life isn't always great. I hope you feel better soon.

LOVE!
AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 11:22 AM
similar thing here! :/
UnknownNovember 30, 2011 at 1:37 PM
Wow! That's exactly how I feel at the moment and I don't know what to do against that feeling :(

Hope you feel better soon :)
AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 7:21 PM
when i read this i felt relieve that i wasn't the only person who is tired of positive people, i don't mean it in a bad way, i just feel they are so unrealistic.
LoesDecember 1, 2011 at 9:08 AM
Darling, I know exactly how you feel. These are the things that makes me happy (maybe you could try):
- Have a long talk with a good friend or have lunch in a café with that good friend.
- Listen to happy, summer music.
- Read a good book.
- Watch Awkward on MTV, cause then it's like my life isn't that bad as Jenny's life.
- Sleep for a loooong time.
- Drink a nice cup of tea.
- Go shopping in a big city.
- Read webblogs.
- Check www.weheartit.com out.
- Take a long, warm shower.
- Change your room.
- Go for a walk.
- Write down the things that make you happy.

I hope this will help you & sorry for my crappy english.
Goodluck,
x.
AnonymousDecember 1, 2011 at 2:42 PM
nothing's wrong with you. it's the whole system that's fucked up. we'll have to take it...
AnonymousDecember 1, 2011 at 5:59 PM
i feel like that too sometimes.
lolaDecember 2, 2011 at 4:04 AM
I feel like I hear myself...and that scares me...You are saying the things I' m not even able to say....because I feel so blocked up...And I hear these people all the time saying: I have so many friends...really? I 'm by myself most of the time and feel lonely and sometimes it's hard... sometimes I feel that I'm blessed...
AnonymousDecember 4, 2011 at 8:55 AM
know how you are feeling! But nowadays i'm feeling better, went to a nice church who teached me that god loves me, and you can always come to him. I felt more usefull when I learned that god has a plan with my life. Also I think you should travel, discover places and make friends. That's also what I've learned, that I need other people. There are not many people in which I can relate sometimes, but than I think; maybe I should look further :p so that's why I want to travel, get a motorbike and help building schools for kids so they can have a future too.
So make plans darling! Live your dreams and waste your life :) Before you know it's over ;) xxxxxxx
NatalieJanuary 4, 2012 at 12:30 AM
i've felt like this more times than i would like to feel like this. though strangely, i crave it.
The Public DiaryFebruary 25, 2012 at 7:15 PM
lola: i love youuu ha
peppyowlApril 1, 2012 at 10:03 AM
MOOD SWING!!
Ordinarily QuirkyMarch 7, 2015 at 6:29 AM
I would love to walk out the door and travel somewhere not telling anyone where I've gone, start a new life. It would be a new found freedom I guess. Totally relate.

ordinarilyquirky.blogspot.ie