My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.

I just saw that one sentence on Tumblr and, that surely describes me quite well. If you bother to read the rare texts I write here you will confirm this in a snap of fingers. By the way, I can't snap my fingers. It is a limitation of mine, one of the many I bitterly embrace. Yes, I embrace it, because at some point you realize there's nothing else you can do but, embrace your limitations. But, as I was saying, can you live life as if it was a film? I have an irresolute answer to that. (possibly negative.) If you could live life as if it was a film..if your life was a film, what genre would it be? If my life was a film I'd fast forward it. Not because I want time to pass, quite the opposite, but because it is filled with uninteresting moments. I am sure yours is too. Although, I wouldn't necessarily watch my own life if it was a film, I by no means, think this is a bad thing because, after all I am not so much a fan of action movies. Now, guess what was the last film I've watched. ;)

Yep, a little pierrot le fou inspired. x

Fit in - drag along.

So, I alight at the station and try to walk through the crowd. I try but it is hard. People are in a hurry, yet they're not wise enough to position themselves. Slow people..in general, incompetent walkers. The streets are full of them. I surely am one of them now and then. I almost bump into a guy who is happily waving an old yellow cloth next to his stand. I whisper a sorrrr..too late, i am already gone. I keep walking, it is exhausting. It is simple and so exhausting. Ahead, a bunch of teenagers can be heard shouting and laughing, bumping into each other with excitement. Their backpacks could probably leave a bruise on anyone's arm if one got hit with it. I am in the center of egoism and hurry. I finally catch the train. I finally alight at my final stop and like everyone else I go up the alley. I and, all the people going up that alley. Men in suits coming back from work, heading to their houses. We all look like cows being lead out of the pasture into the freestall barns. And, let's repeat it..tomorrow.

Facing the world

Every time I try to write something my mind goes blank. I have thoughts though. Mostly, weird ones and dumb ones. I haven't been feeling anxious lately. That is pretty good. I have been feeling zen, way too zen towards things I used to freak out about. Future! I just feel like 'whatever will be, will be' and, although this sounds and makes me feel good I can help but wonder..wait, you have to do things too, in order to not panic later on or not achieve what you want. Trouble is I don't want to achieve anything and that makes me a dull person. All I want to do is sing and collect plants and, sew. I can't fully trust my zen state. I am sure it will pass and I'll become anxious about stupid things again. I think when you get older you realize that being worried and stressed out about your future or all your insecurities, is useless and immature. But, I do not think that's the point. I think what happens is one gets worn out and, become to accept the fact that one has to face things, sooner or later, good or bad..happy or sad. You slightly mold yourself into the system. I am used to being anxious; just wanted to document my zen period, cause well that's rare. Today I am wearing a dress my grandmother gave to me. On the day she gave me the dress, she was also giving us all little things she had, her belongings; she called my uncle and said - I want to give you something precious that belonged to your father and he'd love for you to use it too. She handed him my grandpa's dentures.

Sadness is a blessing, sadness is a pearl, sadness is my boyfriend, sadness i am your girl

A few sketches on my wall and, instagram prints in polaroid format from Printic

Why can't I ever finish a latte?

From day to night I keep changing. Never sticking to something is rather bad. Taking into account, my life is never constant and things usually not finished. My shelf filled with half read books, boxes full of half written diaries, half sketched drawings..half knitted sweaters,half written thoughts, half thought thoughts ..wait..what..Today, I am in the 90's, tomorrow 50's, and I keep drifting through decades in my individual made up world. Is it good, is it bad..I can not identify as you might have guessed. Metamorphosis that is all. tumblr photos